I am so grateful for the experiences I have had on this journey of medical fun that have taught me how to deal with pain everyday and how to continue on with my daily life through it.
However, the last several days have been a reminder that pain hurts.
Unfortunately, I have become very frustrated with my pain in the last week or so. The last few days especially have been particularly trying, physically. Pain levels have been particularly high.
Here's the cycle of the last few days:
I get frustrated with the pain... then I get more frustrated for being frustrated... And then I just want to go for a run. ... So I get more frustrated because I can't...
You get the point. :)
This has been a wake-up call for me because I was certain that I was "over" the pain. And it is true that I am much better at dealing with it now than I used to be.
But I have been reminded that pain hurts. That disappointments come. That I need to constantly rely on the Lord for strength and for courage to get me through every single day. Attempting to be strong on my own is foolishness. I needed this reminder.
Another reminder I receive everyday is that I am so blessed. I walk in pain, but I can walk. I have so many amazing blessings that I take for granted. [I have been counting some of them. I've been able to go for 11 runs since I started again. :) THAT is a miracle to me.]
Unfortunately, this week I have been more focused on the pain and the negative. That is bad news because then so many blessings are overlooked and opportunities to smile are wasted. I think I forgot to live every day on purpose! What was I thinking?!?
So this is me, writing this in one of my favorite places ever so that hopefully I will pull myself out of this pity fest and continue to enjoy my life and share my smile.
That's it! :)
Much Love!!
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